Transition
I’m at Schipol airport sitting in a booth reading ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People.’ I stopped reading it to check an instagram notification, my beautiful friend Blanca made a post with a bunch of group pictures that I was in. I’m flicking through these pictures and really just wondering, “Was this all real”, “Were the people there all real?”, “What experiences were all of these?”
I feel like I’m in a dreamlike state. It’s the end of an era, a really beautiful and positive era. An era of exploration and learning, of constant excitement and entering into unknown territories. I just keep on thinking “Was that all real?”. I’m probably a bit zoned out from reading, but I feel this might also be a somewhat natural experience when you move from one country to another. Exchange is no longer a physical reality, no longer a mental state, It is now a memory. It’s somewhere deep in my being, my mind, in photo’s.
The past 6 months have culminated into a lot of inquisitive thoughts into myself and my personality, possibly some realisations. Catching the train to the airport I’m thinking a number of things like
- Am I an open and vulnerable person? Do I really show my full personality to my friends and to strangers I meet?
- Why do I feel like I often push back at intense relationships? What defence mechanisms are at play here?
- Why in the past have I at times superceded being a ‘positive’ person to try be a ‘cool’ person?
- How has my ego controlled me and limited me in past situations?
These questions, and more, I feel like have been answered. I feel like a have a foundation of self-knowledge now. I feel like I have a sense of calm within me, a force grounding me. With this foundation I feel I can pursue more focused action into thing’s I need to work on.
If there’s one thing I’ve learnt on exchange, its the beauty and power of human connection. Of not judging people but being open to everyone and then opening yourself up to everyone. Having so many great friendships develop in the Netherlands, It makes me want to be a slightly different person. A person who can tell my friends anything, who can be completely me, who can show my full love and positivity to others.
I was walking in the snow covered cobbled streets of Utrecht with Sachin the other day, and It was a mystical experience. Complete presence, complete oneness in the moment, for the both of us. We were firing back at each-other thoughts and memories of exchange. Quietness fell on us and he said “I think the primary purpose of life is connecting with other humans. There’s just no way around it.” It may seem obvious to you, but nonetheless, I found it profound. Magical moments of connecting with other individuals can mean the world to yourself and others. I think everyone (myself very much included) constantly focus’s on the far-away lands such as long-term goals, career advancement, study over the next couple years. But remember how we on a day-to-day basis can create magical moments, just by connecting deeply and truthfully with others.
Connection dosen’t even need to come from in person. It can be writing a really thoughtful letter or message to someone. Never in my life have I been a person to write letters or really thoughtful messages to people, but Sachin has been doing it for a long time and I’ve seen the impact he’s had on people through it. It can make someones day, create a ‘magic moment’, and it can make your day. I’ve started doing it and It makes me feel so much better to truthfully express my feelings to others. To not hold back but take the initative and send a ‘real’ message.
I really just feel that there is so much room to be positive towards others and take simple proactive steps of action to further a connection with others.
I’m going to start writing a random blog a week. For reflection, to talk to myself, to flesh out ideas, to just practice some simple writing.
“Uncover in silence your soul’s own rose garden”- Rumi
Breath deep, take in the experience, and silently uncover what you need to uncover.
